It’s Episode 5 of The Gentle Dommecast! This week The Rough Subbe and I are talking about money and men!
First, we discuss the role of money in a kinky relationship. Should submissive guys expect to pay tributes to possible dominants? We also talk about clarifying exactly what you’re looking for if you’re a man searching for a “Mistress,” and how that plays into the role of money within that search.
We bring up findom, and I come to no particular decision about it except that I think I’m bad at it. We also touch on emotional labor and sex work in a pandemic economy.
Then we move on to talking about submissive men and masculinity. Does being a submissive man make you less “masculine?” What about desires for emasculation in kink? And how do societal expectations about what is “masculine” and “feminine” play into these questions and anxieties?
Great discussion on the differences between relationship and transactional BDSM as blurring the lines between the two cause a lot of issues. I think it’s essential to reinforce the importance of communication and knowing what you’re looking for in the kink space. My recent entry in the space was after a long period of reading and watching BDSM material. Thought it would stay a fantasy but after following a pro findomme on twitter for a year I gathered the courage to submit. I felt taking the time to know what she expects from her subs and how it matched what I was looking for in a domme was really important. Since it’s online only I feel that money is a very useful tool in power play. So far I felt it’s had a very positive impact on my life. I’m exploring what works for me in a real DS dynamic if I pursue a relationship in the future and my Goddess feels worshipped and is paid for her content/time. We have the right expectations for each other so it’s a consensual exploitation if that makes sense haha