When I started out as a top, I couldn’t understand why some people loved chastity devices. I could appreciate the concept of orgasm denial, especially as edging within a sex session. I had seen first-hand what denial could do to a man—make him beg and whimper and want, and I loved it! I loved the…
Domme Bites: What’s the Difference Between a Fetish and a Kink?
People tend to use these words interchangeably, but there’s an actual difference between the two. “In general, a fetish is a sexual fixation on a specific object or act that is absolutely necessary to a person’s sexual gratification.” “Kink, on the other hand, is a broader term that encompasses a bunch of alternative sexual interests,…
Domme Bites: What Makes a Good Sub? Dominatrixes Explain
While I am a lifestyle domme, I have nothing but respect for ethical pro-dommes. This article from Vice focuses on what some professional dommes believe makes a good sub. Takeaways include explore your kinks, be vocal and specific, understand your limits and that you can always say no, check in and communicate, and don’t mistake…
Book Blurb: Bound: A Daughter, a Domme, and an End-of-Life Story
Wow! This book is going on my reading list. Not only does it explore femdom, also mother daughter relationships and the health care system. That’s not something you read about together every day. “What happens when a forty-something, community college sociology professor learns that her mother—a charming, passive-aggressive, and needy woman who hasn’t had a…
I Can’t Be a Domme. I Like Giving Pleasure Too Much. And Other Such Nonsense!
I had an interesting but unexpected brief conversation with a friend the other day. My friend identifies as kinky with bottom tendencies. She’s new to the public Scene. I was telling her about the orgasm denial I’d been doing with my submissive and she said, “See. That’s why I can’t be a domme. I like…
The Package
It would be fine. It wasn’t like the thing was going to say “chastity cage” on the side of the box. Was it? Of course not. He was being ridiculous. People ordered tons of sex toys on the internet. Nobody advertised it. They would never know. Greg’s phone dinged just as the meeting was starting….
Domme Bites: Can Kink Help Control Chronic Pain?
According to a study in Disability Studies Quarterly, practicing BDSM can help some people with chronic pain. At first glance, this might seem counterintuitive. As author Emma Sheppard says, “Why would someone who lives with chronic pain want more pain?” But the difference is that kink pain is “chosen pain,” that lasts for a specific amount…
Ask a Gentle Domme: How Can I Get My Wife or Girlfriend to Peg Me?
The short answer is that there’s no way to force your wife to peg you or to like it. But, depending on what her objections are and what your relationship is like, you might be able to convince to her to give it a try. Pegging, a term coined by readers of Dan Savage back…
Can You Be a Gentle Femdomme and a Sadist Too? The (Mostly) Painless Truth!
The answer to this question, like so many things in kink, is it depends who you’re asking. I believe that you can be into gentle femdom and be a sadist as well, because I think that gentle femdom has more to do with attitude than activities. I believe that you can be into gentle femdom…
Domme Bites: Using Kink to Help Remain Sober
Here’s an interesting first hand article about a woman who uses kink to help her maintain her sobriety. People in the Scene might not be surprised about this. First, alcohol and drug use is generally frowned upon when practicing BDSM because of safety and consent concerns. And BDSM play can light up similar receptors in…