I had an interesting but unexpected brief conversation with a friend the other day. My friend identifies as kinky with bottom tendencies. She’s new to the public Scene. I was telling her about the orgasm denial I’d been doing with my submissive and she said, “See. That’s why I can’t be a domme. I like …
Category: Posts
The Package
It would be fine. It wasn’t like the thing was going to say “chastity cage” on the side of the box. Was it? Of course not. He was being ridiculous. People ordered tons of sex toys on the internet. Nobody advertised it. They would never know. Greg’s phone dinged just as the meeting was starting. …
Domme Bites: Can Kink Help Control Chronic Pain?
According to a study in Disability Studies Quarterly, practicing BDSM can help some people with chronic pain. At first glance, this might seem counterintuitive. As author Emma Sheppard says, “Why would someone who lives with chronic pain want more pain?” But the difference is that kink pain is “chosen pain,” that lasts for a specific amount …
Ask a Gentle Domme: How Can I Get My Wife or Girlfriend to Peg Me?
The short answer is that there’s no way to force your wife to peg you or to like it. But, depending on what her objections are and what your relationship is like, you might be able to convince to her to give it a try. Pegging, a term coined by readers of Dan Savage back …
Can You Be a Gentle Femdomme and a Sadist Too? The (Mostly) Painless Truth!
The answer to this question, like so many things in kink, is it depends who you’re asking. I believe that you can be into gentle femdom and be a sadist as well, because I think that gentle femdom has more to do with attitude than activities. I believe that you can be into gentle femdom …
Domme Bites: Using Kink to Help Remain Sober
Here’s an interesting first hand article about a woman who uses kink to help her maintain her sobriety. People in the Scene might not be surprised about this. First, alcohol and drug use is generally frowned upon when practicing BDSM because of safety and consent concerns. And BDSM play can light up similar receptors in …
Help! My Boyfriend is a Sub and I’m a Switch. How Can I Get What I Need?
Sometimes people’s needs match up perfectly. But often they don’t. You might think that if you meet a partner through the kink community, you’re all set. You’re both kinky. What’s the problem? But as most experienced kinksters know, it’s not always that simple. If you’re a switch and you meet a submissive man who doesn’t …
The Foolproof Way to Catch a Gentle Femdom: Hint. Remember She’s a Woman First.
Since the name of my blog is The Gentle Domme, it’s likely that part of the reason you’re here is because you want a specific kind of femdom, a gentle femdom. You want a woman who can take control, but do it sweetly and make it clear that she loves and adores you, despite what …
Five Kinkalicious Ways to Help Your Girlfriend Feel Like the Confident Domme She Was Born to Be
If you’re a lucky sub who’s scored the girl of his vanilla dreams AND she’s psyched to be your domme, you probably feel like you’ve hit the jackpot. But if your girlfriend or wife is new to femdom, she might feel nervous about her fresh role. Most women are taught both consciously and subconsciously to …
Can You Be Patient? Can You Be Very Good?
He stood halfway between her and the door. She had a feeling he might turn and run and that feeling made her feel sorry for him but also excited her. She fingered her dress, considering options. Should she try to calm him down or try to extend the moment? She decided on both. The young …