I get a lot of my blog ideas from reading questions people ask on forums. And today someone asked about what inspires your domme energy.
Basically, I think I just always wanted to be a vampire.
I found a copy of Interview with the Vampire in a used bookstore when I was too young to be reading it, and I fell in love. I mean, I fell in LOVE. Hard. I used to lie awake at night in my room wishing that Lestat and Louis would come rescue me from my boring suburban life and make me immortal and beautiful. We would be doomed and damned forever!
I was, as the kids say with irony now, “so emo.”
In fact, I pretty much loved all schlock as a teenager, the more gothic the better.
And don’t even get me started on seeing Tim Curry in those fishnets and garters. He wasn’t a “domme,” but he might as well have been. Who needs labels when you have eyebrows like that?
I dressed up as Morticia Addams and/or Elvira for Halloween numerous times over the years. If you don’t know who Elvira is, she was like a sluttier, funnier version of Morticia. I liked her better. I admired her boobs and her moxie.
And, somewhat embarrassingly, I also am pretty sure I masturbated more than once to another bad movie with a very young Jim Carrey and older but still quite sexy Lauren Hutton called Once Bitten, where she was, guess what….playing a vampire who needed to have sex with a virgin to stay young and beautiful!
I was quite the goth in my youth and have never outgrown my love of the color black. But I think my love of vampires, and more specifically female vampire figures, has less to do with being into things that are dark or scary and much more to do with loving their seductive manipulation.
They didn’t have to be violent (or at least not before you willingly allowed them to suck all of the blood out of your body). They could just charm you into doing their bidding. They were sexy, of course. But they were also clever. Knowing. Teasing. They understood their own sexual power and they used it for their benefit. They wielded it like a weapon, but gently. They didn’t need to take because soon enough, you were going to want to give.
Ultimately, they were very confident. In their beauty. In their charm. In their sexuality—even though they were very rarely shown BEING sexual.
They were never the object. YOU were the object.
I was really not these things. Not when I was young. I wasn’t confident. I didn’t feel pretty. I didn’t understand until a long time later that those feelings really come from within you, and that when you feel them from within yourself, they are projected outward. No one can give you those feelings except you.
I definitely didn’t grow into LOOKING anything like those characters I loved. I wouldn’t look very good with black hair, and mermaid dresses do nothing to accentuate my figure. And I still laugh way too much and too easily to really be anything like those tall, slim, haughty seductresses.
But when I’m in “domme mode,” well, I feel like them. I feel powerful and sexy and confident and manipulative in the best way. I feel like I have my “prey” wrapped around my finger, and I can just take my time to draw him in and…pounce. Of course, it’s not really his blood I’m interested in draining. 😉 I just want to see that look in his eyes and know he’s totally and completely under my spell.