I remember going to my first big kink event and seeing all of the hot scenes going on in the dungeon around me. But one that caught my eye was literally—hot. A woman had another woman splayed out naked on a massage table and was dripping hot wax all over her. The wax was in…
Author: TheGentleDomme
How to Write a Nice, Not Creepy Message on Fetlife, So Ladies Like You (and Don’t Block You).
What is likely to get you noticed and get a response? Basically, treating the person you are writing to as an actual person. Hello men of Fetlife! I have met many nice specimens of you in real life. You are polite, even charming! Some of you look quite adorable in your underwear. However, it seems…
Boss Woman
“But I could have sworn I heard you say, “I like women in power,” low, as you walked past me out of the room. You got donut sugar on my blazer.” You walk tentatively into the office, your hair mussed, a confused look upon your face, a face I’d thought of as charming the first…
Are You a Femdomme or a Female Top? What’s in a Label?
One of the first things you learn when you enter the kink community is that definitions, like both gender and sexuality, can be fluid. A term that means one thing to one person can mean something rather different to someone else. A good example of this are the terms top and domme. Generally, a top…
Gentle Femdom and Role Reversal? What’s the Difference, Anyway?
If you’re into sweet and loving femdom, you might be familiar with both the terms gentle femdom and role reversal. You might think these are the same things. Isn’t femdom a role reversal by definition in a world where we still tend to see men as sexual aggressors and leaders and women as less sexually…
Five Not So Kinky but Hopefully Helpful Tips to Remember When Attending Your First Munch
Okay. So, you found Fetlife, and you discovered there’s this entire world of kinky people out there! Which also means there’s an entire world of kinky submissive guys who want to be dominated and kinky femdommes who want to do it! But how do you meet these people? Are you really going to have to…
Domme Bites: Why Are Pro-Dommes So Expensive?
Someone got a little testy about the price of pro-dommes in his area in Dan Savage’s column. He wanted to know why professional dominatrixes (dominatrices) in his area were so expensive. (Um, because it’s hard work?????) Dan let the professionals answer his question. Check out their responses here. Like my blog? Follow me on…
How to Make It Through Your First Femdom Scene Feeling Like a Powerful Domme: Part Three
In the second part of this three-article series about setting up your first femdom scene, I talked about magic blindfolds, the importance of aftercare and discovering your domme archetype. Let’s press on to the third and final article. I hope after you finish, you’ll feel ready to kick ass…and maybe have yours kissed too. Another…
How to Make It Through Your First Femdom Scene Feeling Like a Powerful Domme: Part Two
In the first part of this three-part series about setting up your first femdom scene, I discussed my first scene and how nervous I felt about living up to my bottom’s expectations. I also talked about negotiation and consent and the importance of communication with your partner. One of the most helpful pieces of advice…
How to Make It Through Your First Femdom Scene Feeling Like a Powerful Domme: Part One
I remember it clearly. Here was this man I was very into. He wasn’t my submissive. We were just getting to know each other. But we’d made out, quite passionately I might add. We’d had a little light play at a kink event in public. And we agreed that we were going to meet up…