Someone, Please Explain “Homewrecking” Fantasies to Me?

femdom homewrecking
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Today I wanted to talk about a kink that I don’t totally understand. And yet I make erotic audios about it, despite not understanding it.

The kink is femdom “homewrecking.”

Now, first, is this a kink?

I don’t even know.

It’s something that guys online seem to fantasize about.

Like a good number of them, because if you look on Iwantclips.com “homewrecking” is number 9 out of the top 100 categories. “Blackmail” is number 4, and since “homewrecking” and “blackmail” sort of go together, we might as well split the difference and put it at around 6.

So, I’m going to call it a kink, but you might as well just call it a fantasy. It’s irrelevant. What I really want to talk about is that I just don’t understand why so many guys like it.

The idea is, essentially, I think, that you WANT your girlfriend or wife to find out that you’ve been cheating on her with another woman so she will then leave you?

Although, blackmail fantasies also tend to go along with homewrecking fantasies. So, clearly for some guys, they want to be afraid of the idea that their wives or girlfriends will find out they’ve been cheating, but not ACTUALLY find out.

This makes more sense to me, since exposure fantasies are fairly common. People like fantasizing about all of their dirty little secrets getting discovered. I think there’s a thrill there for people who like both exhibitionism and erotic embarrassment. And that’s certainly not just men.

What also seems to figure into the homewrecking fantasy is this idea that the man couldn’t resist the other woman, who is obviously me, the hot domme, in my audios.

I am a seductress who has used my wiles to overcome him with my intense sexual power. He wanted to be good! He would have been good, but I am too bewitching, and he could simply not resist.

I kind of like this fantasy because I love the idea of me being too powerful to resist. Although I have no wish to break up any homes. And I actually see phone sex as a pretty safe form of sexual exploration for men who are in relationships. I’m sure some women would disagree with me, but I don’t see what I’m doing as fomenting cheating since I have no plans to actually try and “wreck” anyone’s home. (But whether I think phone sex is cheating or not is a different post.)

There’s also often a part of this where I’m better than his wife/girlfriend. Like I’m hotter. Or have bigger boobs. Or am just way better sexually. And I sort of lord it over his wife/girlfriend. Like forced or adjacent cuckqueaning. And DO I sort of feel guilty about this part because that’s probably not true, and I don’t like the idea of putting down other women. But it’s a fantasy.

Or the reverse of this is that HE is so irresistible, that I can’t help myself, and I MUST seduce him. I can’t live without him. So, sorry for your wife/girlfriend, but he’s mine now…..muhahahaha.

So, as far as I can tell, the homewrecking fantasy/kink rests on five possible ideas.

  1. I like the thrill/fear of getting caught, and because my relationship is actually important to me, the thrill/fear is intense if I place it in jeopardy.
  2. I like the idea of a seductress taking control over me without my will and being “forced” to be hers instead of my wife’s/girlfriend’s. (Not that different from M/f romance books, if you think about it.) Seems to go along with a lot of other submissive fantasies about surrendering control.
  3. I like the idea of being so irresistible that this hot woman NEEDS to take control of me.
  4. I get off on the idea of an idealized woman wanting me. Maybe this is just about variety? Or maybe it’s an ego thing? Like I’m idealizing this woman, and I want to believe she’s way hotter than my partner because that would make ME feel good?
  5. I secretly just hate my wife/girlfriend and am longing for some outside force to help me get a divorce or break up with her.

Or I’m totally wrong, and it’s none of these. Do you like homewrecking fantasies? If so, please explain why!

2 Replies to “Someone, Please Explain “Homewrecking” Fantasies to Me?”

  1. I can only speak for myself, so there’s that. For me…

    It’s about self-destruction and loss. The fact that I have a good home, a good wife, a good family…this just means I have more to lose. When you fetishize self-destruction, the fact that it would be an impact to your core support network and throw your life into turmoil is EXACTLY the point. Honestly, I don’t get much out of a Domme saying how hot she is, but that she’s ready to take a match and burn my life to the ground, now I can’t help but dance with this devil.

    It has nothing to do with denigrating my wife. She’s fantastic. It really doesn’t even have much do to with the Domme. She’s hot, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not the point of the fetish. I want to play with fire. I want to feel my life at risk. And my marriage? That IS my life, or at least the part that counts.

    Now, if you’re going to follow up with “why fetishize self-destruction?” That’s another topic entirely. But then again, why fetishize balloons? Answer, because we do.

  2. Thanks for this response! I just saw it because my blog comments are generally taken over with Viagra spam that I must wade through to find the actual comments. Yes, and no. I think you’re right that the answer can just be–because we do. I enjoy playing with these fantasies to some degree, but I don’t really like denigrating other women. That does tend to make me a little uncomfortable.

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