I woke up to a happy event, which was that Ferns had found me on BlueSky, and I promptly went through all the people she followed and followed them because if they have the Ferns seal of approval, that is good enough for me. I also found OMissPearl, whom I love, and Natalie Wynn of Contrapoints, with whom I have a very secret parasocial relationship.
My favorite retweet of the morning was, “Everyone here has a library card.” And yes. Of course I do! The Rough Subbe prefers very boring 18th century literature, and that is why I beat him. (Kidding. I beat him only when he asks nicely.)
SO! In appreciation of this frabjous day, let us NOT talk about The Dark Man (love you, Stephen King). Also, I’m going to try to not write a novel. No one (except The Rough Subbe) has the attention span for long blog entries.
Instead….we are going to talk about something very naughty. For real. We are going to talk about very big cocks.
Now, I am not a size queen. Or I never thought I was. If I’m being really honest, I have only ever had sex with one man that had a REALLY big penis. I was also pretty young at the time. I have also only been with one man who actually had a REALLY small penis. And we didn’t have sex. True to stereotype, he was very good at giving oral, though.
Everyone else (which is not like that many…I’m only really slutty in my mind) has been kind of in the middle somewhere. Like say 5-6 inches. Average to large-ish girth. Nobody’s been in a porn video.
BUT like a year ago I decided to buy one of those monster cocks? You know—the like bad dragon ones, although mine was a knock off. (Bad Dragon feel free to send me a monster cock to review. They are pricey.) And initially I was like there is no way this will fit inside me, and I was kind of ehhh on it.
Fast forward to a year or so later and TRS was in chastity and hadn’t come in like 5 weeks and he ended up buying a harness to wear while he was in chastity so he could fuck me. It didn’t actually go that well, but I’ll address that in a different post.
The point is that we tried the monster cock again.
And. Wow.
I mean. Wow.
I don’t know what changed, but it felt GOOD, y’all. Like it was A LOT. I could not really move it very much. I was more just like impaled on it, but it stretched everything out, and yes, now I sound like when I’m doing phone sex, but it was true. I was using my trusty Hitachi knockoff with it, and suddenly I was the premature ejaculator if you get my drift!
So, then I was like…well..if I liked THIS one, maybe I’d like ANOTHER one. So this time I found an even bigger dildo that was very very very girthy. When it arrived in the box, it was heavy. It was that girthy—that I was like what’s in here, a box of rocks? Nope. Just my new vagina toy.
And y’all….I’m just going to whisper this….it was even better.
It was so big! It kind of burned going in a little. Lots of lube. Some time. Some fake Hitachi-ing. And then it was in and within a few minutes I was asking to get FUCKED with that thing.
So now I’m a size queen, I guess. It was literally so big that I could not fuck for a few days after because my pussy needed time to go back to a normal size. It was bored by average dick. (Don’t get scared, boys. It did like normal dick again. Just took a few days.)
I remember visiting Mr. S Leather in San Francisco a number of years ago and seeing truly frighteningly large dildos in that store and wondering who could take those things in their bodies.
I wonder no more. I might end up with a collection of very large cocks in my windowsill, waving in the breeze.