I know it’s been an eon since I published anything. I have resolved anew to get back into the swing of things, both professionally and in my personal life. I have let so many friendships languish, and honestly, I often feel rather lonely. (Not an invitation for stalkers, please.)

I have no one to blame for this but myself and my terrible streaming habit. That sounds vaguely kinky, but I mean my actual streaming habit of watching too many high-quality television programs. (Did you catch Nimona? So good!)

So, today I made 3 short little teaser audios for Niteflirt that I use as bait…nom nom nom….for catching little subbies in my net before I lure them to their doom…or at least their very achy and swollen testicles.

I also plan to go to more social events, including kink events, although I really have more fun at the stand around and sip on a cocktail and flirt events than everybody’s partly naked and on a cross events.

As part of this, I decided that I shall start blogging again. But I wasn’t sure exactly what to talk about. The truth is that my kink life would appear quite boring to people on the outside since what really turns me on is power exchange, and there are no implements necessary for that. It is often very psychological for me.

So, I decided to blog about the first kink related thing that came to my mind, and that is how I lie about liking to sit on a man’s face.

I don’t mean I lie in my personal life. But I lie about it a lot on phone sex because it’s something a lot of submissive men fantasize about, and not everything we talk about on the phone needs to be real. I am real-ish. I am mostly myself, but I am the sexiest part of myself.

I will go on and on about sitting on a guy’s face and smothering him in my pussy and rubbing my juices all over his cheeks and nose and chin. (Short detour to say that I really hate the term “pussy juice,” but I can’t think of anything better, so I use it all the time.)

But in real life I don’t like sitting on a guy’s face. Number one, I am not a tiny woman, and I somewhat fear crushing him. But beyond that, face sitting is just not as good as getting to lie back and have someone attend to me. Sitting on somebody’s face without killing them takes effort, and I spend more time thinking about how not to kill this person than really being able to enjoy smothering them in my pussy—which I do actually really like—just prone.

I find it so much more enjoyable to lie on my back and just luxuriate in those sensations. To be totally honest, I am (like a lot of women) somewhat nervous receiving oral sex, partially thanks to an assshole I dated when I was very young who made me feel bad about my vagina smelling like a vagina.

So, it’s takes some reassurance for me to feel that someone really likes giving me oral sex.

In the past, I would be so in my head about if the person really liked it and if I was taking so long, that I sort of hated getting oral sex, and I would say it did nothing for me. But then I was with someone who made it VERY clear how much he liked it and who would happily seem to stay down there for as long as I wanted. And between that and pretending that they are my servant boy, and I am the queen who is there to be pleasured, suddenly I DID start enjoying oral sex.

I try to make my writing somewhat loosely educational, so I will just end by telling submissive men (all men) that they shouldn’t assume what someone will like just because porn has told you they will. I know there are so many well-meaning men who assume that an assertive woman is naturally going to enjoy using them in that way. And I know it’s a position that can make you feel very submissive. But not all women, even dominant women, are going to like that.

If your goal is really to please, it’s good to ask and get to know someone’s body. If you pay careful attention, I think you can almost learn from body signals what someone enjoys and what they do not. But that takes patience and attention.