But you’ll also hear a lot of dommes say that many of these men aren’t REALLY submissive. They’re bottoms. They like kinky play, but that’s all. They don’t actually want a woman to be in charge and in control. They just want a woman to…you know…do stuff to them. Tie them up. Control their orgasms. “Make” them give a lot of oral sex. (I know. My heart bleeds for them.)